Nancy G. Brundrett's Heartmusic Journal
 

 
Whatever strikes my fancy now and then....
 
 
   
 
Thursday, July 29, 2004
 
Psalms 139


For the director of music. Of David. A psalms.

O LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .

You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD ,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.


********

My dad shared this scripture with me. 88 years on this earth and he sees his worth in the eyes of God in this Psalms.

"You search me, you know me, completely! No matter where I go you are there, upon the wings of the dawn, the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me.
Darkness will be hidden from me and the light becomes night around me. Darkness will not be darkness to you. My night will shine like day, for darkness is as light to you. You created my intermost being. Your eyes saw my unborn body in the womb. I am wonderfully made now and all the days ordained for me were written in your book. Your thoughts are precious to me. They would out number every grain of sand. Cast away my enemies oh God! Search me and know my heart; test me and know MY ANXIOUS THOUGHTS! ( I do have anxious thoughts for sure) If there be any offensive way in way, lead me in the way everlasting."

I think that is one of the best Psalms I have ever read. David of the Bible was God's favorite. David was so human. He made many mistakes and sinned many times, but he always knew in his heart he had a God that would forgive him and save him from anything. David was either on the Mt. Top praising God or he was troubled and found himself in the valley, even the valley of the shadow of death. He didn't fear because His rod and staff comforted him. We humans will have times on the Mt. Tops when everything is perfect, but the night does come and we will find ourselves in the valley of the shadow of death. If you look at how David got out of the darkness, he did it through praising God and asking God to help him. God always rescued David! A friend said to me the other day this statement, "It is scientifically proven that
PRAYER works." I needed to be reminded of that. I hope you find peace and comfort in my post today. May the Spirit open your eyes and open your heart so you can receive
everything that God has planned for you. Remember He knew you from the beginning of time...Isn't God cool?

Rich blessing to you,

Nancy G "Firefly"
www.nancy-heartmusic.com
 
LONG HARD ROAD

It's a long hard road
It's a long hard road
We travel down, lost & alone
From town to town

It's a long way back home
It's a long way back home
Finding my way
Walking in His light of today

We can not walk until we crawl
We're going to stumble before we fall
The path is narrow & only for the few
Dear lord I gonna keep my eyes on you
On this long hard road

It's a long hard road
The path is narrow & only for the few
It's a long hard road
Dear Lord I'm gonna keep my eyes on you

On this long hard road
It's a long hard road
Long hard road
Long hard road

By: Nancy G "Firefly"
www.nancy-heartmusic.com

Saturday, July 24, 2004
 
Journey to "My White River"Again

I suppose that is the title. Every year I try very hard to revisit this place that so enchanted me a few years ago. It really is in the middle of no where, but I feel and know I am somewhere when I arrive at Silver Falls. It is a remote, yet newly restored rest area about 45 miles from Lubbock, TX. Lubbock is not a place of beauty. It is a heap of people living in little houses with families that go through the motions of waking, working, eating and sleeping. It is such an average place, but right down the road a bit is a place of peace and character. Of course, the state of Texas felt this little remote rest area needed a face lift. The old ancient walkways of steps and paths have been replaced with new ones. Yes, I will agree I loved the new air conditioned restrooms. That place was so hot from the blazing North Texas sun when I was there a few days ago. It really is a place of loneliness though, but the waterfall and the little White River distracts this lonely heart when I visit that place of beauty.
I arrived in the afternoon and waited in the heat to watch a sunset from my secret perch of rocks and desert like plant life. The signs posted everywhere say "Watch out for snakes". That did make me very nervous. My little lizard friend was there by the ledge and the crack in the rock that makes a good hiding place for special messages. I did leave a message in a bottle in a crack in a large rock pile. I climbed that heap of rock to the top. There is something special about that rocky sunset-watching ledge.
It is as if someone or many someone's have been drawn there. It is a place to pour your heart out if it is too full. It is a place to cry out to the heavens when you feel your heart is empty.You can hear the sounds of that haven, like distant traffic noises, birds, and other visitors that don't know about this sunset perch. I could hear my heart beating inside of me. I found a lone hawk feather there that I felt was a sign or a gift so I put it in my hatband. I wonder how many Indians stood on the ledge and looked around and prayed or hunted from that perch.
My heart has been beating loudly theses days. I suppose I will get my note pad from that day and review the words I wrote as I drove there and as I walked those paths. I usually write a poem or a song each visit. The White River slowly moves through there. The river water is dirty because there is not a good flow of water. No rain in the area is very sad to me because I come from a place of "rain." It is as if a rain cloud finds me where ever I go and pours drops of moisture on me. I love rain. Rain is very important to me.
It did not rain on me that day at Silver Falls. I couldn't even draw the rain to that thirsty place. I know I should find a happier place to reflect, but I go anyway, even though it is mostly painful to me. Many lonely hearts and lovers have been there. You can see their carvings on the rock walls....their names, the dates and words of love. I never believed in defacing nature. Sure, I would have quite a lot to say and crave, but those feelings stay inside me until I write a song or a poems. The heart IS a lonely hunter.

Now I am back from my journey and of course it has left me moody and I have that old empty feeling again. I know God has His hand on me and my life. I just go through the motions and the emotions of my life and hope one day God will give me the love of my life. I never really had one.
No one has really loved me forever yet. I guess my heart is longing for someone to hold me.

"Someday over the rainbow"......I still believe love will find me because nothing is stronger than the power of Love. Love will have to find me because I have been looking and yearning for all of my life and still am not satisfied. I suppose sometimes I'm annoying to some. I just don't know how to NOT love. I have so much love bottled up inside me. I can feel the pressure of this power wanting to pour out. So far songs and poems and friendships help keep the pressures down so I don't explode with so much love. :-)

I pray everyone finds the end of their rainbow. That is where all the treasures of the heart
lie waiting for the thirsty soul and hungry heart. I saw a rainbow yesterday in Boerne, TX. It was a full rainbow with it's brillant colors and an awesome light show of the power of a rainstorm.

May each day you walk through be full of God's light and may your heart be filled with love and be satisfied. "Someday over the rainbow."

Rich blessings to you,

Nancy G "Firefly"
www.nancy-heartmusic.com

My White River
By Nancy G. Brundrett
Copyright 2003

Take me back, river
Long ago you when you first captured my heart
Your peaceful gentleness calls to me each day
In silence, I rest my soul upon your sunsets perch
From your banks remembering a moment in time with no ending
My White River

Take me back, river
Love me softly as you embrace my heart
Even from our beginning I wasn't aware
True love flows like your surreal stream
Ever present, never forgotten, your waters still move
My White River

Take me back, river
Each visit reveals yearnings of an empty heart
Standing alone timelessly will you help me understand?
Just how do you hold me without holding?
How do I touch you through the green glass?
My White River

Take me back, river
As I cross your bridge, the highest rock beckons to my heart
Why am I incomplete & alone as the sun sets in your sky?
Did my inner cry pour out and hide in the cleft for your eyes only?
Will your unknown affection ever be strong enough to free me?
My White River

Take me back, river
Find me, my words seemed lost but now found in your heart
Carefully placed, endlessly waiting for you only
We were one heartbeat again only for that moment, alone together
When our time stood still as we called out to the heavens
My White River

Take me back, river
Keep reaching for me until you heal this heart
Be my compass, guide my quest as I struggle to climb in this journey
Seemingly never free, this painful cup is hard to take
But I will drink of your bittersweet healing waters
My White River


©Nancy G. Brundrett 2003-2004
All rights reserved




Thursday, July 15, 2004
 
There Once Was

By: Nancy G “firefly”



There once was a young girl who was swallowed by the world

Who carried a flag that was never unfurled

So she looked to the skies each day

In hope a sunrise or sunset could show her the way



There once was a boy so young, he had a song that had not been sung

He looked to heaven to guide his way, hoping his song would be heard one day.

This special lad had a heart of gold and his love was ever so real and true

But their hearts were young and his one true love had colored his world blue



There once was a love, innocent and true

Holding each other’s hearts not knowing what to do

These human hands fumbled them around

Like falling leaves, hearts tumbled to the ground



There once was a broken heart

It seemed to keep tearing apart

No human hand could ever mend

So, she sits on this ledge longing for a friend



Once there was a little White River, its streams were so slow

But you know sometimes that just goes to show

As I stand on this ledge this day

I hope from this place I will just fly away



There once was a Man of old, who told us of streets of gold

“Come unto me”. He said, with watching eyes as He hung from a tree

It sure was destiny for this Man I am told

How He walked this earth and spoke the truth so bold



There once were three wise men following a star

Their journey was very long and ever so far

Only to find a Savior whose countenance was so bright

They laid their precious gifts down at his feet that night



There once was a God who came down to earth

He was ever so special, a virgin birth

He planted his seeds of faith and hope

A promise of a comforter to help us cope



There once was a man from Galilee

He healed the sick and walked on the sea

He gave his life to forever set us free

Amazing, He even picked a wretch like me.



There once was a blind man sitting by the pools

Hands stretched out for alms, begging to the fools

One day his eyes were touched and healed

From that day on he was whole and filled



There once was a Lazarus dead in his tomb

Until the Master walked into that cold room

Victory over death and the grave

His miracles give us faith to help us be saved



There once was a beggar, a very simple soul

She reached out to touch His garment to be whole

Virtue poured out and He turned around

She cried, “Even the dogs can eat crumbs from the ground.”



There once was a Savior who came to the Jews

But His message was ignored His path they did not chose

He said to the beggar women, "Your faith has made you clean.”

“Greater faith I haven’t seen.”



There once was a fisherman all distraught

Because when his nets came in nothing was caught

But his faith, by fire it was tried

A voice cried out, “Cast from the other side.”



There once was a gift, He spoke of for you and me

A promise of a kingdom, a life of eternity

That door must be opened, so He gave us the key

He can open your eyes if you really want to see



There once was a woman all covered in shame

Her tears could fall like the driving rain

Until she heard the Lord’s voice say, “Come unto me.”

Now she is whole, saved and so free



There once was an artist lost in time

Always looking high and low for her rhythm and rhyme

Asking God to show her the narrow way

All that this artist needed was real love to always stay



So if you read this message I place here within

Say a little prayer to God to send

Angels forever to hold you tight

Even down life’s narrow path into the deepest night



There was once was this message for your eyes to see

I hope you like this little poem from me

You found it on this ledge, inside a crack under an old North Texas tree

May your burdens be light, and your spirit always run free.





*When I go up to North Texas I going to leave this poem is a bottle, a message in a bottle, in a crack, in a ledge of the sunset watching place of mine at the small waters of the White River, flowing from the Palo Duro Canyonland. I believe this poem is for someone who finds the ledge, the crack and the bottle. It's a God thang!!!!!



I really love poetry!



Nancy G "Firefly"
www.nancy-heartmusic.com









Tuesday, July 13, 2004
 
THE HEART REALLY IS A LONELY HUNTER!
Whoever first wrote that was so right.

Read my post below.....

Nancy
 
Missing You

By: Nancy G. Firefly

Sometimes the seconds turn into days
And that is when I start missing you
The way you hold me when you're near
You whisper "I love you" in my ear

Do you ever miss me when we are apart?
Is there a special place for me in your heart?
Do you walk the streets alone, want to call me on the phone?
Do you ever miss me the way I miss you?

Baby please don't ever go
Because I'll be missing you so
I get the blues inside
When you run and hide
I don't want to be missing you
Missing you
Missing you

Walk me through a moonlit night
Feel the magic begin to ignite
I will hold you in my heart forever
Don't leave me here alone,
Swear you'll never

Baby please don't ever go
Because I'll be missing you so
I get the blues inside
When you run and hide
I don't want to be missing you
Missing you
Missing you

*This song or poem was written while I was "dreamscaping".Dreamscaping is when you think a thought and drift deep inside the heart and mind. You just lose time and anything can happen when you daydream. It looks like this will turn out to be another Heart Music song. I play the harmonica along with the guitar and sing. It feels so good to sing this song. It is like a prayer,
"Please don't ever go, cuz I'll be missing you so". I know what it is like to really miss someone. You kind of walk through each day hoping that "missing you" feeling will somehow go away. It's funny about Love's mystery. You really can not control the way your heart feels. I usually have trouble sleeping, but last night I slept well and had
a beautiful dream. I wasn't missing you. You were holding me. You kissed me like the first kiss. Then you kissed me again so tender and innocently. Dreamscaping, I think sometimes the human heart needs a good dream to help walk you on down this ole path called life.

My music can be heard at
www.nancy-heartmusic.com

Till next time,

Nancy

"Sounds of the heart make this moment unwind, true love never dies, it rests within this vine" a quote from my poem "Sounds of the Heart"

Friday, July 02, 2004
 
So what have I been doing? I have been having some fun. I go up to Boerne, TX quite often to visit my Texas Music friend, Katherine Dawn. You should check out her site.
www.katherinedawn.com She is extremely talented. It is fun to exchange musical heartbeats and songs together.
We went on a "Road Trip" deep in the hill country to a special place. It was a retreat in the middle of nowhere. I had heard that Ashley Cleveland would be there to perform her awesome style of rock and blues. Ashley Cleveland is a two time Grammy award winner also. As we drove in to the seceded retreat, there were waterfalls everywhere. The Frio River runs next to the camp. We have had so much rain, all the grass, trees and flowers were so green. I thought I was in New Mexico or Colorado. In the hill country we have some mountains too. The Frio river was flowing by at the bottom of a rock-sided mountain. The water was so clear I could see the fish and the turtles swimming around.
We actually had to drive down a river as a road to get to the lodge. Driving out at midnight was so beautiful with the moon's light to help guide us down the river road.

Ashley Cleveland and her husband were there to share their music. Ashley has quite a testimony of deliverance. She grew up in Nashville and was in many bands. She has a tremendous voice. Ashley Cleveland pulled out a purple jumbo Gibson guitar. She started playing her music. It was so heartfelt. The little concert was very personal also. The audience was just the campers. So I was front row to about 20 other listeners. She is greatly influenced by Neil Young. Her husband played a sweet lead to her songs.She started playing the Rolling Stones song, "It's Just a Shot Away" in her unique bluesy way. I really couldn't believe I was there. After her acoustic concert folks from the audience got up and played their songs on the guitar and sang. They were pretty good. Ashley Cleveland knew Katherine Dawn and I were Texas Music artists. She invited Katherine Dawn and me to play and sing an original song. Well, no probably for Katherine, she used Ashley Cleveland's husband guitar and sang a special song called "San Marcos River Girl". The crowd was overwhelmed by the song. Next I was to play, but the only problem was I am left-handed and needed a left-handed guitar. There were none there. I knew I should have loaded up my guitar, but we were in a hurry. Well, Ashley asked me to sing it vocals only. So I did. I sang, "Come and Go"..This is a spiritual song. The acoustics in the room made my voice sound pretty good. Some of the folks in the audience were actually crying. My heartmusic touched their souls and hearts. That made me feel good. We left that heavenly place about midnight and got to Katherine's ranch in Boerne, TX about 2:30 am. It was a long drive home.

It was kind of a "God Thang" how we were blessed to attend that little concert.

"It is beautiful to speak of God to man. We cannot fully understand the nature of God because we are not God, but we can make ready our consciousness to understand, and grow through, the visible expressions of God" Kahlil Gibran

"I feel art-which is the expression of what floats, moves and becomes an essence in one's soul-is more suited and conformable to your rare talents than research-which is the expression of what floats, moves and becomes an essence in society" Kahlil Gibran

"Music is art. Music is a gift sown with love to others. Everyone is saying that music is love. God is love. Do you understand now that God is the giver and we are the receivers. We are the vessels he fills up with His Spiritand music flows out of the vessels to reach and touch others. Sometimes the sounds of the heart are there just to heal the artist." "Nancy G" Firefly

some great websites of music:

www.ashleycleveland.com

www.katerhinedawn.com

www.nancy-heartmusic.com

God bless you with rich blessings now and forever,

Nancy G "Firefly"

 

 
   
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