Nancy G. Brundrett's Heartmusic Journal
 

 
Whatever strikes my fancy now and then....
 
 
   
 
Friday, February 13, 2004
 
It's Just Another Day To Me
By Nancy G. Brundrett
Copyright 2003

It's just another day to me of past smiles & joys
I won't be revisiting the times when love was new and so real
Never tasting the cool, clean water of innocent affection again
Now what encumbers me is a cautious & painful reflex of loss

Element of surprise, waiting into the night for his expression of love
Then in my hands & heart I would hold it carelessly
Not knowing if I would ever see those gifts return
I see the cruelty of time has washed away all of it

This "Heart's Day" is just a reminder of what was
And what is not feeding my hungry heart now
But drifting & reflecting, I am comforted
By your past touch & warm breathe on my face

Today I don't know what love is anymore, only what it isn't
Some chosen few will join together this day in amorous affections
But not me, never will I surrender to the heart's pain again
Learning it is incomplete & risky to give when I feel no return

Valentine's Day speaks to me and says
"You can never waste any moments if you have loved."
"It is better to give than receive." It whispers
But the tears & years are a reminder of every mistake

Into another year gone by, I sit & stare out my window
Wind in the trees makes the leaves laugh & smile
The gentle rain can't be traced with my fingers
All I can touch are my tattered memories

This day will come & go like winter's cold breeze
All the wasted minutes & seconds when I loved
Expecting it to return to me like the ocean's waves
Only to realize you can't count on human love

The tide will come & go in a give & take motion
But love has a will of it's own
Leaving me behind again ironically
It's just another day to me



Sounds Of The Heart...
By: Nancy G. Brundrett
January 28, 2003
Copyright 2003

Where are you right now? I say
On the road or staring out the window into a new day?
Is that a cup of coffee in your hand I see?
Do you like it black and sugar free?
Itís the small things in life that add up
They always seem to fall into my empty cup...
There is such a hunger & thirst inside these days
My eyes look for yours & remember your ways
Saw you in the lines the ocean made as she tides
Saw you in the sands upon the foam that rides
Feel you in the summer winds on a starful night
Sense your closeness, and the feelings are just right
I have been here many times before
Suppose I visit this place looking for more
Did I ever tell you I have a tear in my heart?
It's been there ever since we drifted apart
Lay me down gently in crimson and clover
Speak your heartful words over and over
Quietness, now you are a friend of mine
So where is your fire? Need your warmth & shine
You left me as fragile as a winter rose
Standing cold in this fountain that forever flows
You're the only one that makes me beautiful inside
So naturally into your arms I want to hide
In this stillness, come with your eyes & help me see
You were there when my innocence sailed out to sea
I remember we made a covenant ... you and me
But somehow I tumbled down like a falling tree
Now you are the silence between each word
And in this silence I recall everything I heard
So now I get higher to lose all the lows
If you try, you can feel me in the wind that blows
So unbreak my heart as I start to fall
Just glad that you are even here at all
Want to hold you for the man you are longing to be
Behold the woman that you somehow made me
I need the mercy of the clouds and the rain
For without your embrace, Iíll never be the same
I hear the heart say."Just let your feelings go"
Gently falling 'cuz the heart says so
So drink your coffee and stare out into space
And in your mind your hands will trace
The sounds of the heart make this moment unwind
True love never dies. It rests forever within this vine


Rain Dance

Looking out
I see the clouds are rolling in.
I stand and watch
as if I'm looking for some sign.

How can it be
that I feel so out of place?
How can it be
that I feel so far from home?

And at that moment
when the rain begins to fall...
As the drops begin to trace their paths
down the window pane...
I wonder why
I wonder why...

How many times
have I come to this place.
How many times
have I stood
on the edge looking out...
at a world
I just don't understand...
and longed for a touch to bring me peace.

How can it be
that I feel so out of place?
How can it be
that I feel so all alone?

And at that moment
when my soul begins to ache...
And the drops of rain trace their paths
down the window pane...
I wonder why
I wonder why...

I think of how
my life is like the rain.
Searching for a resting place
I never seem to find.
And I know
that too soon the time will come
When like the drops of rain
my dreams will vanish in the sun.

Why must it be
that I feel so all alone?
Why must it be
that the answer never comes?

And the sound of the rain
is all I hear...
And the endless drops continue
on their way into the night.
I wonder why
Please tell me why...

And still I stand
and watch
As if
I had no place to go.

Waiting for the rain
to wash me clean.

Waiting for the rain
to make me whole.

Waiting for a touch
to take me home.

(great words from a beautiful soul and heart)


My White River
By Nancy G. Brundrett
Copyright 2003

Take me back, river
Long ago you when you first captured my heart
Your peaceful gentleness calls to me each day
In silence, I rest my soul upon your sunset's perch
From your banks remembering a moment in time with no ending
My White River

Take me back, river
Love me softly as you embrace my heart
Even from our beginning I wasn't aware
True love flows like your surreal stream
Ever present, never forgotten, your waters still move
My White River

Take me back, river
Each visit reveals yearnings of an empty heart
Standing alone timelessly will you help me understand?
Just how do you hold me without holding?
How do I touch you through the green glass?
My White River

Take me back, river
As I cross your bridge, the highest rock beckons to my heart
Why am I incomplete & alone as the sun sets in your sky?
Did my inner cry pour out and hide in the cleft for your eyes only?
Will your unknown affection ever be strong enough to free me?
My White River

Take me back, river
Find me, my words seemed lost but now found in your heart
Carefully placed, endlessly waiting for you only
We were one heartbeat again only for that moment, alone together
When our time stood still as we called out to the heavens
My White River

Take me back, river
Keep reaching for me until you heal this heart
Be my compass, guide my quest as I struggle to climb in this journey
Seemingly never free, this painful cup is hard to take
But I will drink of your bittersweet healing waters
My White River

*one more for good measure!

WHEN I MISS YOU THE MOST

By: Nancy G. Brundrett

My journey down each endless path is my life
As the breeze hits my face
I recall I've loved deeply
And been loved by many with no boundaries
Watching the yellow rose unfold
It's beauty entailing thorns
Then tracing the petals
Falling to the ground
That's when I miss you the most

Why does love travel it's own road?
The coming and the going
Like all the seasons
Each one with their own colors
Trees and forests come alive with spring
Only to wear a dying look as winter approaches
Standing tall and strong
Most times standing alone
That's when I miss you the most

I rise early to catch the morning light
Comes streaming through my bedroom window
Catching the sun in a prism
All the brilliant colors passing through
You just can't fight off the night
It always comes all too soon
Moonlight gives off orange-like hues
Invisible winds blowing through the willows
That's when I miss you the most

Mountains and oceans call to me now
Sitting and watching the birds floating
Aimlessly in the atmosphere
Clouds for their background flight
Finding a waterfall or two bound for the ocean
Alone as the sunset skies melt into the horizon
My hand is empty now
But I remember your touch so gentle
That's when I miss you the most

Walking down hand-laid brick roads
It's my old hometown again decades later
Swallowed by the shadows
Listening to the past sounds
Stood on my old front porch
Remembering all the goodnight embraces
Words spoken and received
Still locked inside of my heart
That's when I miss you the most

Some say time always heals everything
I say time exposes my mistakes and is cruel
I'm happy your life is full
I regret mine is not
I echoed your name into the canyon
Through miles of ancient walls
It came back to me
It always does
That's when I miss you the most

Pouring into songs now is my passion
Writing my feelings in poems as well
Adding memories to memories
My storehouse is full of so much love
Your earthen brown eyes hold so much warmth
All this love passing through us holds me steady as I sojourn
Not past the tears of a million years
Only the sound of decades of silence
That's when I miss you the most



*My thoughts and feelings about Valentine's Day are just words spoken.

"Sometimes words fall to the ground and do no justice"
Just like the rain that fall from the clouds longing to land on the thirsty earth, only to fall on the pavement and then gravity pushes it down a drain into nothingness. The raindrop is lost in a concrete jungle, only to vaporize and "do no justice."

"Funny about loves mystery...that old flame deep inside never died in me"

As the Beatles state:

All You Need Is Love

So why do I feel a void and a thirst for the rain to fall on me and make me whole?

Nancy G "Firefly"
www.nancy-heartmusic.com

 

 
   
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